Well,the last day is finally here – 31 days of limericks all done (with many thanks to Pip’s Comic Verse for his contributions).
Here’s number 31 – and after that there will be a bit of a rest from limericks. Probably…..
There once was a dancer called Pete
Who laughed in the face of defeat
‘They may sigh in dismay
At my stab at ballet
But you won’t stop my toe-tapping feet.’
Little tubs of something that she puts upon her face
They’re on each and every surface so there’s barely any space,
Pencils for her eyebrows, some are thick and some are thin
Lipsticks, creams and lotions with no bag to put them in,
They’re meant to make her youthful and to keep her looking fit
And if I’m being truthful, I can see the sense in it.
The creams must all be working as it’s very clear to see,
She was 44 last Thursday and she still looks 43.
A traditional slightly naughty limerick for the penultimate day!
An elderly lady from Oldham
Took all of her bras and she sold ‘em
She said I’m not bragging
But everything’s sagging,
Now I’ve got nothing to hold ‘em.
An earwig looks quite creepy
With a lot of tickly feet
And a hard and armoured body,
You would hardly call it sweet.
With a funny little pointy bit
That grows from it’s back end
Which is why not many people
Have an earwig for a friend.
It’s day 29!
There was a young lady from Poole
Who thought she was terribly cool.
She’d spit in the street
So that passer bys feet
Would get terribly sticky with drool.
Apparently (although I can’t help noticing the proximity to 1 April), Brighton Council are considering a higher parking charge when the weather is due to be fine. There will not be a refund if the weather forecast turns out to be wrong.
The sun is shining brightly
And the sea is azure blue
I’ve got my spade and bucket
And my swimming costume too.
I gaze up through the sunroof
At a clear and cloudless sky
And then I keep on driving
– the parking’s much too high.
The rain is quickly falling
And the sky is dull and grey,
I’ve got my mac and wellies
On this damp and drizzly day.
I gaze up through the sunroof
Of my wet and dripping Ford,
Then I drive into the car park
– That’s a price I can afford!
Day 28!
There once was a young man from Bude
Who really was terribly rude
He’d shout and he’d swear
With never a care
And he’d water his flowers in the nude.
I came across the following website while wandering around the internet earlier (as I tend to do). With apologies to non-UK readers, it lists a large number of UK literary events (as well as other useful information). Might be a useful site to keep in favourites.
Site is here.
Though love may end
And hearts may bend
The world will still keep turning
And we don’t know
But time will show
The lessons we are learning.
The years move on
The hurt is gone
As hearts will do their healing
Consoled, and yet
We won’t forget
The message it’s revealing.
Just four more limericks to go after today, then it’ll be back to a bit more variety – which is either a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your view of limericks!
There once was a poet called Pix,
Who set out to write limericks.
‘When I write thirty one
Then at least I’ll be done
And you’ll get a bit more of a mix’.
Poetry Pixie 